← Back to schedule
Coping with the Stresses and Strains of Daily Living 🌿
"It's not what happens to you, it's what you tell yourself about what happens." Burns turns the lens away from big crises and onto the small daily friction — traffic, inboxes, in-laws — and the running commentary in our heads that turns a hassle into a bad day.
Today's Plan
- ☕ Catch up & popcorn20 min
- 🌿 Jeff's chapter summary10 min
- 💬 Discussion questions25 min
- 🌱 One take-away each5 min
1 · Catch Up ☕
First 20 minutes
Before we get into the chapter, let's land together. Fire up the popcorn picker and — when it's your turn — share whatever feels right:
- How was your week — actually?
- One small thing that stressed you out (we'll have plenty to work with).
- One thing you're glad about right now.
(No big crises required. The point of this chapter is the small stuff.)
2 · Jeff's Summary 🌿
10 minutes
Jeff walks us through Chapter 16 — the main ideas, the techniques worth trying, and what stood out most.
3 · Discussion Questions 💬
25 minutes
Pick the ones that feel interesting — no need to go in order.
- What's a small, recurring stressor in your daily life — traffic, email, a coworker, a household task — that you'd love to handle differently?
- Burns argues that it's not the event that stresses us, it's what we tell ourselves about the event. Can you think of a recent moment where two people had wildly different reactions to the same situation?
- Which cognitive distortion shows up most for you under everyday stress — should statements, mind reading, catastrophizing, all-or-nothing thinking? Pick one and give a real example.
- Burns suggests catching automatic thoughts in real time and writing them down. Have you ever tried this in the moment? What got in the way?
- Where in your week is stress actually a useful signal that something needs to change — versus stress that's just a story you could tell differently?
- What's a coping habit that's worked for you (a walk, a phrase, a friend, a deep breath) and what's one that you reach for that doesn't actually help?
- If you could only carry one tool from this chapter into next week, which one would you pick?
4 · One Take-Away 🌱
Last 5 minutes
Around the group, one sentence each:
- One thing you're taking with you from today.
- One small daily-living stressor you'll practice on this week.
Notes from the session
Filled in after we meet